


FEAR OF FALLING

by TheBroken



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Love, Romance, Soul-Searching, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27502432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBroken/pseuds/TheBroken
Summary: On a  romantic holiday with Yuzu, at the Shrine where they first declared their love together, Mei has another confession to make...
Relationships: Aihara Mei/Aihara Yuzu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	FEAR OF FALLING

Yuzu had taken Mei gently into her arms after they had tied the love knot together, and after a long, loving kiss that left them both breathless, they revealed the fortunes they had received at the shrine. It was the final sealing of a vow they had made sometime before, and both were a little anxious, (although Mei would never have confessed to being superstitious in any way.) as they revealed their fortunes.

"Oh, Mei!' the golden-haired girl had beamed, 'I got a joyful romance, and a success with studies blessing!" She looked to the dark-haired girl in anticipation.

The dark-haired beauty looked up shyly, a slight blush tinging her cheeks. "I got a happy home life... and a successful marriage blessing." She smiled awkwardly at her partner.

"MEI!" Yuzu cried out and threw her arms around her lover. "That's perfect! You're going to be the best wife ever! We're going to be so happy together, and I'm going to make you proud with my scholarship!" She practically danced with joy, amazing The dark-haired beauty all over again with her enthusiasm. "You already have, Yuzu!' she said contentedly, 'You're in the Academy's top twenty list. We're almost certainly going to be able to attend the same university together, and Grandfather promised us that little house of our own to stay in."

"That way, we can concentrate on our studies, it's so perfect!" Her lover chimed in. "I knew I could make Grampy see things our way! He just had to have his heart opened up, and I knew his head would follow." Mei looked at her in astonishment. "I still can't believe you went to him, after intervening in... y-y-you know... Angel..." she suddenly stammered in embarrassment, and not a little shame. She wondered, would she ever shake off the memories, of the agony her thoughtless behavior had caused them both. She shivered at the thought, only to find loving, warm arms around her, which she welcomed gratefully.

"It's O.K. Honey,' her companion said tenderly, drawing her in for a kiss, _'We_ stopped it. And _WE_ are going to get married and have a blessed life! You are, and will always be my only love! I knew it when I fell for you!" Mei gratefully held her as they snuggled for a moment outside the shrine. "Sometimes,' Mei whispered, _'I feel like I've_ _never stopped falling_... is that _love_ , Yuzu? That my heart and emotions are in free-fall whenever I hold you... whenever I just _THINK_ of you?" She passionately returned Yuzu's kiss, lost for a moment in her generous, sensual pink lips, and her Emerald-eyed lover sighed: "It must be, because, my head is spinning now!"

There were very few people there today, for which Mei was grateful. She could be more open with her Angel. The Autistic beauty did not enjoy large groups of people, which she could only handle in a strict, controlled situation, like at school. Socially inept, except for rigid caste manners, she left things like that to her gregarious soulmate. A young couple, a boy and a girl came down unexpectedly from the shrine that moment and smiled at them as they saw the two girls hugging. Mei tried to find a way to ease herself out of the situation, but quickly realized they had already been seen. Yuzu looked up and smiled back. "I hope you got good couples blessings, too!" she called out.

"We did!" they said, laughing and hugging, "Thank you! " They seemed genuinely delighted in seeing the two happy girls. Mei turned to Yuzu in embarrassment after they had gone. "Yuzu!..."

"Hugs, kisses, and hand-holding in public, Mei. And I'll _not_ settle for _anything_ _less_ , anymore. I know that displaying public affection is an ongoing process for you, but that's how it must be, for the happiness of us both! We're two girls who love each other, and that's NOT gonna change! I'm not gonna go _radical_ on you, by any means and like you, I just want us to go ahead with our lives, but... look at the statistics: same-sex relationships are approved of by the majority of urban people here in Japan in _EVERY_ age group, not just young people like us! That still means a lot of people, often in important positions, _DON'T_ accept it, but slowly, things will have to change, even in a tradition-bound country like ours! And for those who don't...well, you told me best: Not everyone is going to approve. WE are what matters. Of course, we'll probably always have problems come up because of it, don't get me wrong, and YOU helped me accept that some time ago. It's just going back to being different! You know, for instance, when I was a child, there were a few people who didn't like me, _OR_ Matsuri because we were Hafus'. But, it didn't take me long to figure they had the problem. Most of the other kids thought we were glamorous, I with green eyes, and she, with blue, and it didn't hurt that there were Hafu Idols, either! Both my parents were mixed and I'm happy being what I am! And that includes being in love with another girl! Call me _Gay,_ or _Queer_... Or whatever! For me, I'm just a girl who fell madly, and totally in _for always love_. Really, all that matters with us...is that _WE'RE_ _both_ in love, _together!"_ She beamed at her admiring lover, who marveled again at the intelligence and understanding that hid behind that smile, and simple, wholesome outlook.

"I-I-think you're...' Mei began, as Yuzu patiently waited for her lover to gather her emotions. 'You're so beautiful... just _EVERYTHING_ about _all_ of you, Angel' The Violet -eyed girl blushed, 'Every part that went into making you, made you a work of art, Yuzu!" She turned her head away, embarrassed at her own romanticism. Yuzu blushed and hugged her with delight. "Mei! You say the most romantic things!" Mei enjoyed her lover's attention but was still getting used to the whole public affection idea.

"I'm CORNY!" She exclaimed, squirming a little, which only encouraged the other girl to redouble her efforts.

"You're shucking it right off the cob, Honey, and I'm gobbling it up!" the green-eyed beauty rejoined, giggling, and she was treated to one of her lover's arresting, tinkling laughs, as she looked at her in admiration.

 _"Elf princess! My beautiful, beautiful, fairy-tale girl!"_ Mei thought with a sigh.

After a moment, they continued their walk. Mei seemed to be searching the cobbled walkway they traversed. "Let's see,' Mei thought, 'it was right down there..." "Yuzu' she said pointing, 'do you remember?..."

Indeed she did. Running after the fleeing Mei, calling out her love and devotion, making her hear the confession of her wounded heart...she had so many ups and downs in her single-minded pursuit of her lover. Finally, having to literally tackle her to the ground so they could make their love confessions together. And faced with the prospect of doing it all over again?..." It's been a rough ride, hasn't it, lover?' she said quietly.

"Mostly because of ME!" Mei replied, bitterness creeping into her voice. She seemed to be in wistful thoughts today, her lover noticed. Yuzu's grip tightened on her hand. "Don't you be that way, Baby! I'd gladly go thru Hell for you, Mei." She said simply and had the past to prove it. _"You mean AGAIN?"_ Mei thought, knowing the truth of it, but she just sighed, shook her head in agreement, and continued walking, taking her on a detour thru the grounds to an area that the blond beauty had not been to on their previous trip. She seemed preoccupied with some deep interior study that held her in silent focus. "Where are we going, Mei?" she asked.

The quiet girl cleared her throat. "There was a place I enjoyed all by myself when we were here that other time. I went there when I was so distressed, trying to understand why I was falling...madly in love for the first and only time in my life... for a certain blonde!' she added shyly. "There is a high hill, with rather steep edges that I went to the top of. You see, right over there?"

This was news to Yuzu. "Mei,... I thought you didn't like heights?" she puzzled.

"They sometimes frighten me terribly," she answered.

"Then... why..?" 

"Follow me, Yuzu." She had replied, and they continued in silence. Yuzu from time to time would glance at her lover's pale, ethereal, and unreadable face, before finally giving up on guessing what emotions lay behind it. Mei, for her part, surely led the path, tracing the way she remembered, as the couple patiently made their way up to the steepest side of the hill. They were accompanied only by their slightly ragged breathing, as no further conversation was forthcoming from either until reaching its summit sometime later with no little effort. Mei turned to her lover and paused to focus her thoughts before she spoke, at last.

"Yuzu, I'm built differently than a normal person is, in here,' she said, pointing to her head, 'that's why I usually avoid too much stimulation. Sometimes some of the damnedest things can move me, like...like being up on this hill, for instance, and standing... _RIGHT HERE ON THE EDGE!"_ And the Ebony-haired beauty ran exactly where she had indicated, with her laughter following her.

Yuzu was temporarily stunned. She and Mei had been on a journey of discovery about themselves and each other ever since they had gotten back together, aided and abetted by couples counseling from Mei's ever-helpful therapist. But, this was a new one. "Mei... PLEASE! Don't endanger yourself!" she pleaded.

"Yuzu... Come stand here. It's safe behind me on the edge. You won't fall, Angel! _STAND WITH ME!"_ Her lover beckoned. She did not hesitate but timidly stepped up to stand with Mei. The view was breathtaking, well worth the effort of getting here. The well-kept grounds, with their handsome groves, the rolling landscape, precious antique bridges, the flowers, so expertly placed... all contributed to the feeling of otherworldliness she felt being here again at last with her betrothed, whom she looked at in expectation.

"When I was here, last time, I came here alone when the others were in bed,' Mei said at last, 'just to feel the exhilaration, the danger of this that made me feel suddenly alive, not like that wicked, cold, manipulative puppet thing I had been when I first met you...and I was full of strange new sensations!" She grasped the other girl's hand. " I had a thousand thoughts, and emotions I didn't understand spinning in my head like a carousel, because I, who had never felt love, still did not understand what it was, and yet, here I was, surely and completely falling... totally in love with you, and trying to run away from it, and you, out of my fear. And as I looked out over this expanse of loveliness in the dusk, I realized something. And it was something that helped me to finally connect with my heart, to realize why I had been having such an awful time realizing my love for you and being able to articulate that in return to your own." She turned to face Yuzu, cupping the exquisite face in one hand. "It was about my _REAL_ fear, Angel. My real fear was keeping me from you. I wasn't afraid of _HEIGHTS!"_ She leaned in for a soulful kiss with her lover.

"I was _NEVER_ afraid of _heights,_ Yuzu,' she continued in a soft whisper, 

"I was afraid... of _FALLING!"_

**Author's Note:**

> This is for all of us Romantics who love some sweetness for our girls, whom we have come to so care for thru their trials and tribulations! Even a story with serious overtones can have a beautiful ending.
> 
> I began writing my Citrus stories to see Yuzu and Mei to a path thru their problems, helping them to deal with their difficulties, such as mental health issues, in a way that, although some of the material is very dark, there could be a believable happy ending. This story is a perfect example of what I mean. Bittersweet in places, referencing both glorious, and bad memories, our awkward and beautiful Autistic Mei is able to articulate her feelings in a confession to her Angel that explains an important truth to her. Her past actions, on this account, seem clearer, and the love bond deepens even further between them. There is deep emotional satisfaction, joy, and release in her heartfelt confession.
> 
> Because, after all they've been thru, I truly believe that's what they deserve, and that's what we readers want. You'll not see any stories from me about them breaking up, or dying, or hating on each other, or anything of that nature. And however dark it may sometimes be, it is only because Yuzu and her soulmate Mei...are searching for the light, and we know they will find it!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
